There is a time and a place for blasting music. A concert? Absolutely. A house party? Turn it up. A music festival? Obviously. Music is meant to be felt, to bring people together, to set the tone of a moment. But here’s the thing – not every moment needs a soundtrack. Some places were meant to be experienced in silence or, at the very least, without an unsolicited bass drop.
The rustling of leaves on a forest trail, the gentle lapping of waves on a beach, the rare and fleeting tranquillity of a quiet train ride – these are moments that should be enjoyed as they are, not interrupted by someone’s shit Spotify playlist. There’s a huge disparity between enjoying music and forcing everyone else to suffer through your questionable taste.
Some people get that. Others? Well, they seem to think the world is their personal DJ booth.
The Worst Offenders: Who Are These People?
Blasting music isn’t just about being loud – it’s about declaring war on outdoor etiquette, basic courtesy, and everyone’s last remaining shred of patience.
1. Hikers and Campers with Speakers
Rule number one of hiking and camping etiquette is to respect nature, not to transform it into an outdoor nightclub for the unwilling. You know who doesn’t need a soundtrack? The bloody mountains. You know what doesn’t need a bass drop? The crackling campfire. Some of us came to listen to the birds, the rustling trees, and perhaps even our own thoughts – not to endure your Poundland Glastonbury and tinny, distorted speaker. If you’re so afraid of silence, maybe the wilderness isn’t for you. Try a music festival. Or better yet, your own house – with the doors and windows shut.
2. Public Transport Pests
Public transport is already a test of human endurance – sweaty commutes, delays, and the crushing existential dread of another workday. And then, as if sent by Satan himself, someone decides to complete the suffering by blasting their music for all to hear. Not through headphones, no – why do that when you can impose your questionable taste on an entire train carriage? Why do people play music out loud on public transport? Because they lack even the most basic social awareness.
3. Beach Boombox Buffoons
A beach should be a place of relaxation – the rhythmic crash of waves, the distant laughter of children, the soothing sea breeze. But no, you can’t have peace, because someone nearby has decided that Ibiza’s 2 a.m. energy should be forcibly injected into your quiet afternoon. You wanted to listen to the waves? Too bad – here’s a distorted EDM remix you didn’t ask for.
4. Car Concert Clowns
If blasting music in the car is meant to make you look cool, I regret to inform you that it does the exact opposite. Who are you trying to impress – the pensioner waiting at the zebra crossing? The exhausted mum unloading her shopping? Your Honda Civic vibrating like it's about to achieve lift-off doesn’t scream “badass.” It screams “I have no personality and a small dick.”
5. Neighbourhood Noise Terrorists
Ah, the sweet relief of finally climbing into bed – only to be violently reminded that your neighbour has the self-awareness of a brick. At 3 a.m., they decide that the entire street must endure their music choices, as if we all agreed to live inside a nightclub. Neighbours blasting music is one of the leading causes of sleep deprivation and passive-aggressive revenge fantasies. These are the kind of idiots who could be persuaded to believe that volume controls are a government conspiracy.
The Psychology of a Public Menace: Why Do They Do It?
Why do people blast music in public? Are they allergic to silence? Afraid of their own thoughts? Desperate for validation?
1. Dominance and Ego
For some, it's about dominance. They mistake volume for status, believing that forcing their atrocious taste in music on others makes them seem powerful. They operate under the delusion that their ability to make eardrums bleed equates to social dominance. In reality, it just makes everyone fantasise about launching your speaker into the nearest body of water while side-eyeing you into oblivion.
2. Attention-Seeking Behaviour
Others just need attention. Maybe their parents didn’t clap when they walked into a room as a child, so now they demand validation through decibels. They want eyes on them, even if those eyes are rolling so hard they risk detaching a retina. They don't care whether you like their music – what matters is that you notice them.
3. The Delusional Public Service Providers
Then there are those who genuinely believe they’re doing the world a favour. These are the self-proclaimed "mood-setters" who assume their Spotify playlist is universally adored. Like a budget DJ nobody booked, they stand proudly by their speaker, convinced they’re elevating the atmosphere. Newsflash: nobody invited you to headline their personal space, and yet here you are, delivering an unwanted setlist like a deranged street performer with no tip jar.
4. The Blissfully Oblivious
Finally, let’s not forget the truly oblivious – the human equivalent of an alarm clock that won’t turn off. They exist in a bubble of sound, blissfully unaware that their music is loud enough to register on the Richter scale. They genuinely don’t realise that other people can hear it – or that anyone else exists, for that matter. Their entire world is just them and their playlist, and the rest of us are merely unfortunate background extras in their private music video.
Is Blasting Music Actually Illegal?
Surprisingly, sometimes it is. But, the law is rarely enforced and authorities have more pressing crimes to attend to.
Public Spaces
Is it legal to play music out loud in public? Generally, no. Many cities have noise ordinances, but they’re as widely enforced as a “don’t take more than one sample” rule at Costco.
Public Transport
A few transport authorities have banned it outright (heroes), but enforcement? Spotty at best.
At Home
Neighbours blasting music can legally be classified as disturbance or harassment if it’s loud and persistent . But good luck getting them to stop before you’ve already endured six sleepless hours of deep house at max volume.
In the Car
Certain countries do fine people for excessive noise pollution. The UK has noise limits for vehicles, and if your subwoofer is making the pavement shake, you might get pulled over. Finally, justice.
What Can You Do If the Law Won’t Help?
If authorities won’t step in in public spaces, it’s time for creative solutions. A well-timed death stare, miming along sarcastically or playing actual decent music at a higher volume might shame the fuckers into stopping. At home, noise-cancelling headphones are a good start. And when that doesn't cut it, and formal noise pollution complaints fall on ironically deaf ears, why not fight fire with fire? A sudden passion for bagpipes or a playlist of crying babies on loop might make your neighbours reconsider their choices. For the drivers who think they're hard, a collective agreement to give them the middle finger at traffic lights might be the social deterrent we need.
Conclusion
TURN THE FUCKING MUSIC DOWN!!
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